Duggar Family Rules

I think I'm going to post these. Not to worship the Duggars, but I think these are awesome rules to live by.

1. Always use soft words, even when you don't feel well.
2. Always display kind actions, even if you have been mistreated.
3. Show joyful attitudes even when no one is looking.
4. Have sincere motives with no thought of self-gain.
5. Think pure thoughts.
6. Always give a good report of others. Never tale-bear unless physical harm will come to someone. Use Matthew 18 as your standard.
7. Never raise a hand to hit.
8. Never raise a foot to kick.
9. Never raise an object to throw.
10. Never raise a voice to yell.
11. Never raise an eye to scowl.
12. Use one toy/activity at a time.
13. Never let the sun go down on your wrath. (Don't go to be angry or guilty.)
14. Amendment J.O.Y.: Put Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. Make serving your family a priority.

both of these posts are from

From Jeanette Wood
A moment with Mom


When Asked
"Not only do you have 10 children but you also run a farm. How do you do it all? What is your secret to managing your home with a cheerful heart?"


1. I work on creating memories, considering what's really important, and doing those things. I often ask myself, "If the Lord were to return at this moment what would I want Him to find me doing?"

2. I make sure that we are not so busy "doing" that we can't simply enjoy one another.

3. I make sure to always go to bed with the home clean and laundry done. Waking up to yesterday's chores is no way to start the day. There are times that it simply happens however, we all work hard to make sure our daily duties are accomplished before bedtime.

4. I limit distractions such as Internet, TV. and phone calls that would keep me from being available to hear the children express their hearts. If I no longer have time to hold the baby, read a story to the little ones, or kiss the brow of my child... then I am too busy with the 'clutter' of life. For me, the simple moments with my family are the most important! I love to create their favorite meals, yummy treats and work along side them as they care for animals they enjoy!


5. Managing our time is critical. We don't have a schedule we keep but we do have a routine we follow. I've found the home is orderly and peaceful when everyone knows what to expect for the day. The key is keeping us open and flexible to hear the voice of the Lord and set aside our own plans to do His. It's a balancing act that I work on daily.


6. I've learned to smile on purpose! It's important to me that I am teaching my children by example. I want to teach them that I don't just act kind when I leave the house, smile when life is easy, or have a joyful tone in my voice when things go my way. I also want them to know that I don't hide my pain when I hurt, my struggle with temptations, or my repentance when I sin.


7. I also guard myself from excuses. I don't want to teach my children to make excuses for poor behavior so I need to make sure I am not doing so as well. I often tell my girls, "We were told to walk in the Spirit at all times. It doesn't say, except when it's that "time of the month."

February 10, 2010, a New day!

Today is a new day in Christ, and He is going to help me.

Lord, please help me to enjoy my kids today and every day, because I do realize now how fast these days will be gone and I will miss them so much, even though they are REALLY hard right now. This means, please, help me stay off this computer when they are awake, and spend quality time with them. I don't want to look back in years and realize how much time I wasted NOT spending time with my children. The time goes by way too fast. This job is hard, but please don't allow me to "check out". I want to remember these days, and all the days to come. I don't want to regret one thing when the kids are grown. I want to know that I did everything in me to make connections with them. Lord, you know my heart, please help me with my struggles. Thank you for everything Lord! Don't let me take another moment for granted!


Here's the Update for the girls for 6 month visit and 9 month visit:

M: 6 month check up 11/5/09
Height: 26 3/4 inches (75%)
Head: 42 3/4 cm (50%)
Weight: 16 lbs 6 oz (50%)

M: 9 month 2/3/10
Height: 27 1/2 in (50%)
Head: 17 1/2 in (65%)
Weight: 18 lb 3 oz (50%)

B: 6 month check up 11/5/09
Height: 27 in (90%)
Head: 43 cm (75%)
Weight: 17 lbs 4 oz (75%)

B: 9 month check up 2/3/10
Height: 27 1/2 in. (50%)
Head: 17 3/4 in (77%)
Weight: 19 lbs 7 oz (60%)

The boys are doing great.

M has started some preschool stuff this year, and I am debating on Kindergarten for him next year. We have been looking at curricula this year, and with the curriculum I am hopefully going with, I can do a 2 year Kindergarten program. Decisions, decisions. I'm just praying right now that the Lord will lead me in the direction I need to go. He is very set that he is going to be a firefighter when he grows up. I know the Lord has something GREAT for him. He is definitely head strong, but I also know that will work in his favor eventually, we just have to learn to channel it into positive things.


D is doing well with his school work. Abeka academy is really not working for us right now, so also with him, I have looked into a different curriculum. I think he needs a more hands on approach with school. So often, we put our children in a textbook curriculum, because that is how we learned being in "school". There are so many other ways to learn, and I am really researching them. He still loves drawing and hopes to one day be an artist or a comic book illustrater. I have high hopes for these boys. I sure do love them so much! I know God has a bigger plan for them. I can't wait to see what it is.

Well, I've rambled for long enough today. Tootles, be back soon....hopefully sooner than I was last time.

4 Month Check Up and Such

I'm always trying to blog more, but it never happens. Shew! We sure are busy. So, here are some updates.

Drew has been doing well in school, but he seemed to be very overwhelmed with all the paper work. So...I switched his curriculum to a distance learning program with Abeka. He is REALLY excited about it, and I think it will take a lot of stress off of me so I can work with Matt and give more attention to the girls.

Matt is doing well, he is very strong willed right now. I am reading the Strong Willed Child by Dobson, and learning to break his will and not his spirit. He is a stubborn one though. He is doing well with his preschool work. He really seems to be picking up on the ABC's and numbers. I am excited for him and my goal is to have him reading by Kindergarten in 2 years.

The girls are well, they went for their 4 month appt today. Dr. told me that I made it look easy. That's all I do, make it LOOK easy, because it definitely isn't. They are growing like weeds. Here's their stats:
Bethany//// Meredith
15lb 1/2oz (80%) ////14lb 5oz (65%)
25 1/4 in. tall (80%) ////24 3/4 in. tall (75%)
16 1/2 cm head cir. (75%)//// 16 1/4 cm. head cir. (55%)

Bethany has a slight cold (I think it's croup), but the doctor said that kids not in daycare get 4-6 colds a year. Both girls are at the 6 month mark as far as rolling both ways and rolling around the living room. The doctor said that he wouldn't be surprised to see them walk at 8 months, but I'm hoping to hold that off until 10 months at least.


All in all everyone is GREAT!

Museum

We went to the museum today with Drew and Matt's best friends, Laura and Amanda. They had a great time. It was a little hassle taking the "school bus" stroller, but all in all everyone did well. We went and heard a lecture on honey bees, that was pretty cool. We just thought they'd have real bees, and they didn't. It was very educational nontheless. Counted it as school, since we started 2nd grade Monday. I decided to start Drew on a modified year round homeschool schedule. He was losing too much information during his break. This way, we can have a 3 week vacation in September, a 5 week vacation at Christmas, and a 3 week vacation at spring break time. So far, he loves it! I'm so proud of my boys. Matt is doing a 3 yr old preschool program with me since we can't afford for him to go back to real preschool. So far he loves it too! They are such good kids.

2 Month Check Up

Here's all the stats for the girls:

Meredith: 11 lbs 1.5 oz (75%), 23 1/4 in. long (90%) and head circumference 15 1/4 cm (50%).

Bethany: 11 lbs 5.5 oz (75%), 23 1/2 in. long (90%) and head circumference 15 1/2 cm (50%).


The Doctor was very pleased with the way they are growing. He said that some of the stuff they are doing (ie. holding head up, pushing up on their elbows, rolling over, etc.) was 3-4 month old development. He said they are definitely ahead of a lot of babies at this age, especially considering they were a month early.

It was SO sad to see them get their shots. These are my 3rd and 4th kiddos and it doesn't ever get any easier to see them have to get a shot. It broke my heart. My mom went with us so that she could help console the little ones. It broke her heart too, in fact she was crying right with them. I didn't cry, but it sure did well up in me.

Right now, they are sleeping, tired from the tylenol. I'm sure they'll have a sleepy day, but they are healthy and doing good. We go back in 2 months for the 4 months visit and then they can start solid foods. YAY!

Boys are doing well, they went to storytime this morning. They LOVE storytime w/ Ms. Angie. They are my shining stars. I just am so blessed to have 4 GREAT children. I'll update again later, but for now...tootles!

Drew 7 (in 2 weeks), Matt 3 1/2, Bethany (l) & Meredith (r) 2 months.

Quick update. The girls are smiling. They pretty much started this weekend (they were six weeks last Friday). Bethany is smiling more than Meredith, but I know Meredith will catch up. The boys are doing great. Enjoying the summer in the kiddy pool on the deck. They are getting so grown so fast. I love them ALL so much!

The Girls are Here!

Well, It has been FOREVER since I've updated this. Partly due to 9 weeks of bedrest (couldn't even really sit at the computer for long) and partly due to the fact that we have 2 week olds.



Here's my story. April 30 we went to the dr. for a routine visit (36week appt). I was measuring 44 weeks prego (if it were one) and I was 48 inches around. He was going to strip my membranes, but he didn't think it would work seeing as how I have scar tissue on my cervix from a LEEP procedure 6 years ago. So, he did his thing. We decided to go to Crabtree mall (my dr. is at Rex, so we didn't have to go far) and get some dinner. We went to Kanki, to get the early bird special, but my contractions were getting pretty painful. So, we went to Panera Bread. Yumm! We decided to eat outdoors, because the weather was so beautiful. Well, after dinner (around 6pm), my contractions were 3 minutes apart and coming strong. (I had been dilated 4cm for about 2 weeks and 100% effaced for 6 weeks). So, the dr. had told me to come to the hospital as soon as my contractions were steady. So, I called the dr. and she told me to come to the hospital and they would check me out. Got to the hospital and I was 5cm and completely effaced. They decided to keep me since I was at a 5 (I planned on having a vaginal delivery because both babies were head down). This was about 7:30 when we got to the hospital and settled in. They hooked me up on the contraction monitor and sure enough I was in labor having contractions lasting 45 seconds and 3 minutes apart. The dr. broke my water around 10:30pm and boy did the pain really start then. They told me I could have an epidural whenever I was ready. I was going to try to go drug free, but I figured w/ twins, I should opt for the painkiller. My epidural was awesome. I got it around 11:30 and we actually SLEPT from 12am -2am. At 2am the nurse came in to check on me, and I told her I needed to go to the bathroom. She decided to check me and I was fully dilated and the baby's head was very close. So, they wheeled me to the OR (that's where they do all twin deliveries just in case a c-section has to be preformed) around 2:30. I started pushing and at 3:03am Meredith Leah was born weighing 6lb 8oz 19in long. After I had her, they took her off to the nursery to clean her up and all that good stuff. My contractions were getting stronger. Wow, they really were bad (they had turned off my epidural so that I could feel to push). After 2-3 contracitons, the dr. checked on "baby b" and she had her hand around her head, and that would not have made a safe delivery. Plus, she was not descending like she should've. So, I had a "crash" c-section for her. Bethany Grace was born at 3:27am weighing 7lb 3oz and 19 1/4 in. long. They sewed me up and by 4:30 I was in PACU recovering from the c-section. I had the full experience that night at the hospital. It's kinda neat to say that 3 of my kids were born vaginally and 1 was a c-section. I've done it all now. :) The c-section was not fun recovering from. It felt like they had taken an axe to my abdomen. But, I have this beautiful little girl from it, and they said that it was a good thing we did the "c" because my placenta was starting to tear, and that could have been deadly for me and Bethany.



They are doing so well. They will be 2 weeks old tomorrow. The first few days were really rough with not sleeping at night and having to entertain the boys during the day. But I really feel like we've gotten on a routine now and everyone is thriving. Here's a picture of the girls!

Here comes the bedrest...

So this has to be short and sweet, and probably sloppy considering I'm not supposed to be sitting upright, but we do not own a laptop, so I'm at the PC.

Here's how things went down on Thursday. Went to the doctor, they did the routine ultrasound (that they do every two weeks) and my cervix had shortened from 4.4 cm (which is really good) to 1.5 cm. I had also dialated 1 cm, so they sent me to the hosptital. When I got there, I was actually in preterm labor, but they determined the cause as I was dehydrated. So, they hooked me up to some IV fluids, and the labor stopped. Bad news is my cervix will obviously not grow back, so I'm on strict bed rest...this means...I may get up to use the potty, and take a shower (hygeine only) then back to bed or the couch laying down. Sitting up and riding in a car is not an option. I may only ride in a car to my appointments, considering I may no longer drive. They went ahead and gave me the steroid shots for the babies to develop their lungs just in case I have them in the next few weeks. I'll go back Monday, barring no snow, to have my FFN test to tell whether I'll have them within 2 weeks, or if they can hold off two more weeks. I am having an extremely hard time with this. I'm such a goer, so please keep me and the babies in your prayers that we can get through this. I know having healthy babies will be much better than me running the roads like I'm used to. Well ta-ta for now, I'll keep you posted, or try to.

AShleigh

Baby Face

One of my baby girls. The other baby had her face down, so we couldn't get a good picture of her face. There is a foot right in front this baby's chin if you look carefully, and a butt in front of her right eye. They still have a lot of plumping up to do in the next 10-14 weeks, but I just thought she was already so pretty.

January 27, 2009

I had another ultrasound today. Everything is looking great for the girls. One is 1lb 4oz, and the other is 1lb 5oz. Their fluid looks great! Baby A is vertex and baby B is breech. We are praying for baby B to turn around so that I can possibly have a normal delivery (the thought of a c-section really scares me). Baby A's heartrate is 144, and baby B's heartrate is 140. I am so very thankful that they are doing so well. I have 17 weeks until my due date. My belly is measuring 34 weeks though. I feel huge! The boys are starting to adjust. We are painting the nursery and such so it is finally starting to feel real. I have gained 25lbs....ugh! But, the doctor said that is right on track for twins. We have picked names, but we're not ready for the world to know...so if you want to know, just comment me and I'll tell you. Just a quickie update! Talk to you later.

My MasterCard Commercial

Lunch at Chick-fil-A for me and the boys: $11.76

Two new toys for the dog at PetCo: $8.90

Gloves, goggles, hazmat suit, and gorilla tape at Home Depot: $24.60 (Iwent a little overboard, we ended up taking everything but the gloves and the tape back)

Your husband cleaning up the busted Compact Florescent Light bulb on the living room floor: PRICELESS!

Happy New Year!!

This is going to be a GREAT year! I just know it. The Lord has blessed us so much. Here's a little update for you...we found out Dec. 23 that we are having identical girls! They are mono/di, which means they share a placenta, but are in separate sacs. We are elated! Today I went to the dr. and their fluid is measuring great and both are healthy. Twin A's heartrate is 141 and Twin B's is 153. I am 20 weeks today, so officially half way through, even though most drs. think I'll go between 30-37 weeks. I am measuring 28 weeks as if I was having one, so needless to say, I'm huge....but, hey, I have two babies in there.

The boys are doing well. Drew is SO excited that his twin girls are on their way. They got new bunk beds, and that seems to be going OK. (just OK). I have got to figure out a way to get them to stop fighting. But, I know that will come in time. Enough for now, I'll update again sooner than later I hope.

Loving my precious family, Ashleigh

Catching you up!

So, a lot has happened since I last posted. I'm such a slacker on here.

On September 13th I found out that I am pregnant. Here's the blog I posted on myspace about it (just to save me some typing).

"If you don't know already, we are expecting a baby. This will be our third child, and he/she will be due May 25, 2009. We are SO excited!! We are hoping for a baby girl, but praying for a healthy baby. If we have a boy this time, I'm just destined to have boys, but I love them.
For all of you that have nothing to do but to talk about people, this was a VERY planned baby! We've been planning this baby for over a year, and it just so happened that we got pregnant exactly when we wanted to. We prayed for a May baby because there is not a lot of family birthdays in May. And, we didn't want it close to our other children's birthdays. Plus, I get to be pregnant during the COLDEST time of the year!
Now, all you people out there who just had babies, before you take something to Goodwill, will you please check with me first. We have a ton of stuff, but will be needing some stuff, and what better way to get it than hand-me-downs. Hopefully in January, I'll let you know if I need boy or girl clothing."

Then on October 23rd, I was having a little spotting and got worried. I called my doctor and they wanted me to come in to have things checked. First place they sent me was ultrasound, where we found out this....

"Just wanted to update everyone on the "baby" situation. I went to the Dr. on Thursday b/c I was having some spotting. Went into ultrasound, and found out that we are expecting TWINS! I am SO excited to begin this new adventure.
Just for the record, because I've already been asked....no, we were not on ANY fertility treatments or pills. We got pregnant the first month we "tried" and ended up getting twins. Also, twins do not run in my family at all, they run on Jason's side a couple times, but to be honest I don't know why this happened other than God just had this planned for us. "

I am so excited about babies. I'm a little nervous how I'm going to homeschool still, but I know this is all in God's hands and he wouldn't give me more than I can handle. Please keep us and the babies in your prayers.

I've been tagged, YAY!!!

I was tagged by Charissa

A. Attached or Single? Attached
B. Best Friend? Jason
C. Cake or pie? oooo, cake, chocolate on chocolate
D. Day of choice? Friday, I don't know why
E. Essential item?chapstick, hand sanitizer, hand lotion
F. Favorite color? depends on the day, today, HOT PINK
G. Gummy bears or worms? um, neither
H. Home town? Fuquay Varina, NC
I. Favorite indulgence? I've been sitting here for 5 minutes wondering what do I indulge myself with, I think I need to find something to give me some me time
J. January or July?January, I love cold weather
K. Kids?Drew and Matt
L. Life isn’t complete without? Family and Jesus
M. Marriage date? September 20, 2003
N. Number of brothers and sisters? 1 sister, 1 step sister, 1 step brother, 2 brother in laws, 2 step sister in laws, one step brother in law, and 1 sister in law
O. Oranges or Apples? Oranges
P. Phobias? Spiders
Q. Quotes? "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. " --Bill Cosby
R. Reasons to smile? life and love
S. Season of choice? Fall
T. Tag 5 people: If you read my blog, I tag you, I have no idea that any one looks at this
U. Unknown fact about me? I LOVE MY JOB
V. Vegetable? Sweet Peas
W. Worst habit? picking at my fingers
X. X-ray or Ultrasound? I've had both
Y. Your favorite food? unfortunately, sweets
Z. Zodiac sign? Pisces
(Another) Z. Which zoo animal is your favorite? Polar bears and sea lions

I am SO blessed...

This week has been a real Devine week. The Lord has spoken to us in so many ways, about this silly car. First of all, we are getting rid of our 2007 Honda accord that sips on gas to buy a SUV. We are actively "trying" (which I really hate saying because, well, we really know what that means) to have another baby. Three car seats do not fit in the back of the Honda easily. So, anyway...Jason just had this feeling we needed to sell it, and the icing on the cake was when I agreed with him. The Saturday before last I just felt like God was calling me to get rid of this massive mountain of debt. So, we went to Carmax, and they offered us almost what we owed on it (surprising huh?). So, the search began for the perfect, yet cheap, SUV. All doors were slamming in our face, and we still hadn't gotten rid of the car (you have 7 days to sell to Carmax before the offer is null). On Friday, the Lord led me to call the SECU to find out payoff for the car. The same day, the Lord also led me to repost this Craigslist ad. Which by the way, was all God's doing! I didn't even know why I did these things. Well, within 15 minutes we had about 4 people call and want to look at the car. So, the first person that comes puts a deposit on the car and pays full price (about $50 over what we owe). Okay, so here's God one more time. Jason informs me that afternoon, that he had diligently prayed Friday morning that someone would come and buy the car if it was His will. Evedentally it was His will for us to be out of that mountain of debt and less a $300 car payment. We still haven't seen where he is leading us as far as a vehicle. We currently own (no debt) a 2002 Explorer and we're thinking I'll probably drive that and we'll buy Jason something cheap like a truck to drive. It's just so good, that God is so good.

On another note, I started homeschooling this past week. I wanted to get a "head start" since I'll be going back to work next Monday. I wanted to see how our routine will work even though I'm only going back to work Tues./Thurs. Homeschooling is great! Drew loves it, and even complained on Saturday why we couldn't do school. :) It is a little time consuming, and sure it would be "easier" to send him to school, but I love having the time with him and seeing his face light up when he "gets" something.

Random Stressful Thoughts

I think I need to pray more often. I'm so stressed out right now, it's not even funny. I've been at home since June 1, and the boys are not getting any better. They fight non-stop, they hit, punch, scream. It's no wonder I've had an ongoing headache since last week. I just don't know what to do. It seems as though my 6 yr old has never got over us having my little one (who is almost 3 now). It is a constant battle. And I go through this guilt complex....why did I have my little one? Will Drew ever get over it? I yell, and scream, and punish (time out, privledges taken away, and spanking as the last resort). Am I crushing their spirits? I want to be a good mommy, but I also want them to take me seriously. I also want them to respect authority, and be grateful for what they have. It is such a fine line. I want to cater to them, let them have everything they want, buy them stuff in over abundance, spoil them, take them places. But I can't, because when I do that, they get ungrateful, unrespectful, and down right rowdy. I am a passive person, and it is so hard not to let them walk all over me. How do I punish in love? How do I be a good mommy, but still set boundaries? How do I have my perfect little family without crushing someone's spirits? I just wanna be their friend, but I've learned, that you can't be mommy and friend at the same time. Another weight I have on my shoulders is that the education of my child is in my hands solely. What if I fail? What if I crush his learning desire by not be the most patient person I can be? I am so worried about this. I've even just considered going back to work full time, and paying for him to be in private school, while I pay for the little one to be in daycare. It would take all of my paycheck, but would it be worth it to have some sanity knowing my child is definitely getting a good education? I know it would be hard to go back to full time work. I've done it before, where you are gone 12 hours a day (with the commute and dropping and picking up at daycare and school), then you come home to a stressful house, trying to get homework done, dinner cooked, baths taken, and Bible story read, so that you can make it to bed before midnight, in order to start all over the next day. And the weekends are not filled with quality family time either, they are filled with the week of overflowed dishes, grocery shopping, laundry, and other errands that didn't get done. Let's face it, there is no easy outlet. I guess I am expecting life to be a little easier. I just feel like a failure on auto pilot all of the time (if I can't do anything with them to correct the behavior, just let them do it, and ignore it). I am guilty of putting them in front of the TV, just to keep them from fighting. Because, if the TV is on, one of them is ingrossed in it at all times. That keeps them away from each other. I can't wait for school to start (preschool that is, where I work), for us to get a solid routine. I will also put Drew in organized sports this fall, to keep his focus. I guess, if I can just hold on a few more weeks, we will be back to our routine of busy, busy, busy, and maybe we can fix some of the behavior problems, since I think some of them now stem from being bored. We just can't afford to go somewhere everyday (considering going somewhere usually involves spending money). I hate to be outside when it is so hot, and the mosquitos are horrible here. I've gotta get some structure here. Ok, well enough venting for me. I guess eventually they will get on track, hopefully before they are 20. Hopefully by that time, they will be able to tell me thank you for being a good mommy, and teaching them how to appreciate things, and respect people.

My baby is 6!

So, today is the 6th birthday of my Drew man. For some reason, this makes me sad, and happy. I try not to be sad. But, 6 years ago he was a tiny infant and now he is a big boy making decisions of his own. I love him to pieces, but sometimes I just wish he was that baby again. However, I am VERY happy to have had the past 6 years with him. He is SO much fun! We've had many, many good times in the past 6 years. I guess time does fly when you're having fun. He is going into the 1st grade, reading, writing and overall loving life. He loves the outdoors, fishing, video games, TV, playing with Matt, and just getting downright sweaty (gross!). I'd never been around many boys before he was born. And when he was delivered I remember thinking "what am I going to do with a boy?". He has taught me a lot about being uptight and clean. I love him so much, and I hope to have many, many more birthdays with him in the future. Happy Birthday Drew! I love you!

Getting started

Hi guys! I am starting a blog for you and me to keep up with our busy family. Add it to your favorites, I'm going to try to post often with pics (after I get my USB port fixed). I'll add the first "entry" later today.